How it is worked out

Every state has its own child support guideline, set out in statute, together with a worksheet or an official calculator. The guideline produces a figure, and courts are generally expected to order that figure unless there is a specific reason to depart from it.

The inputs vary but usually include both parents’ incomes, the number of children, how much time the children spend with each parent, the cost of health insurance for the children, and work-related childcare costs. Some states weigh both incomes; some focus mainly on the paying parent’s.

What this means in mediation

You can, and should, work through the calculator together in mediation. What you generally cannot do is agree a figure well below the guideline simply because it suits you both. Child support belongs to the child, not to the parents, and a court asked to approve an agreement will usually check it against the guideline. Departures are possible in many states but normally have to be justified and explained.

What mediation does add is everything the guideline does not cover, and that is a longer list than people expect.

• How you will share the cost of activities, sports, music lessons and school trips.
• Who pays for braces, glasses and other predictable but uninsured medical costs.
• How college or higher education costs will be approached, which some states address and many do not.
• How the arrangement will be reviewed when incomes change.
• Which parent claims the children for tax purposes, and in which years.

Support and parenting time are separate

It is worth stating plainly, because it causes a lot of conflict. A parent who has not been paid is not entitled to withhold the children, and a parent who is being kept from the children is not entitled to stop paying. Courts treat these as two different obligations, and using one to enforce the other tends to go badly for the person doing it.

If circumstances change

Support orders can be modified when there is a significant change, such as a substantial change in income or in the parenting schedule. The important point is to get the order changed rather than to rely on an informal arrangement, because in many states arrears cannot be waived retrospectively and continue to accrue against the order on file. See changing an existing order.