Terminology varies between states, and several of these words mean slightly different things depending on where you are. Where that matters, it is flagged. This glossary is for understanding, not for interpreting your own documents.

A to C

• Alimony. Money paid by one former spouse to the other after divorce. Called spousal support or maintenance in many states. See spousal support.
• Alternative dispute resolution (ADR). The general term for resolving a dispute outside a courtroom, covering mediation, arbitration and collaborative practice.
• Arbitration. A private process where a neutral third party hears both sides and makes a decision. Unlike mediation, the arbitrator decides. Availability in family cases varies by state.
• Best interests of the child. The standard courts across the US apply when deciding anything about children. The factors judges must weigh are set by state law.
• Collaborative divorce. An out-of-court process where each person has a specially trained attorney and all parties commit in writing not to litigate. See how it compares with mediation.
• Community property. The system used in a minority of states, where property acquired during the marriage is generally owned equally and divided equally.
• Contested divorce. A divorce where the couple cannot agree on one or more issues and ask the court to decide.
• Custody. The traditional term for arrangements about children, covering both decision-making (legal custody) and where the child lives (physical custody). Many states now use different language, such as parental responsibility or parenting time.

D to G

• Decree. The court’s final order ending the marriage and setting out the terms. Also called a judgment of dissolution.
• Discovery. The formal process in litigation for obtaining information and documents from the other side, with the court’s power behind it. One of the main reasons litigation is sometimes necessary.
• Dissolution. The legal term in many states for ending a marriage. Practically, another word for divorce.
• Equitable distribution. The system used in most states, where marital property is divided in the way the court considers fair. Fair does not necessarily mean equal.
• Financial disclosure. The requirement that both people set out their income, assets and debts in full. Usually mandatory in a divorce, and the foundation of any workable mediated agreement.
• Guardian ad litem. A person appointed by a court to represent a child’s interests in a case. The role, title and powers vary considerably by state.

I to M

• Imputed income. Income a court treats someone as capable of earning, used when it concludes a person is voluntarily unemployed or underemployed.
• Joint legal custody. Both parents share the right to make significant decisions about the child.
• Marital property. Property acquired during the marriage, which is subject to division. Contrast with separate property.
• Mediation. A private process in which a neutral third person helps two people reach their own agreement. The mediator does not decide anything. See how mediation works.
• Memorandum of understanding. The written summary of what a couple has agreed in mediation. Not usually binding by itself; it becomes binding when turned into a signed agreement or a court order.
• Modification. A change to an existing court order, usually requiring a substantial change in circumstances. See changing an existing order.

N to Q

• No-fault divorce. A divorce granted without either person having to prove wrongdoing, typically on grounds such as irreconcilable differences. Available in every state, though some also retain fault grounds.
• Parenting plan. The document setting out schedules, decision-making and the practical arrangements for children. See parenting plans.
• Parenting time. The time a child spends with each parent. The modern term for what used to be called visitation.
• Petitioner. The person who files the divorce petition. The other person is the respondent. Being the petitioner carries no advantage in itself.
• Postnuptial agreement. An agreement made during a marriage about how finances would be handled if it ended. See postnuptial agreements.
• Prenuptial agreement. The same, made before marriage. See prenuptial agreements.
• QDRO. A Qualified Domestic Relations Order: a separate court order needed to divide most employer retirement plans. Without it the plan administrator will generally not act. See retirement accounts.

R to Z

• Relocation. One parent moving a significant distance with a child. Treated as a distinct legal question in most states, with its own notice requirements and test.
• Respondent. The person who receives the divorce petition, as opposed to the person who filed it.
• Separate property. Property one person owned before the marriage, or received during it by gift or inheritance. It can lose that character if mixed with marital funds.
• Separation agreement. A written agreement setting out the terms of a separation. Depending on the state, it may be incorporated into the final divorce decree.
• Shuttle mediation. Mediation where the two people are in separate rooms and the mediator moves between them. Also done online using breakout rooms.
• Spousal support. See alimony.
• Uncontested divorce. A divorce where both people agree on all the terms, which is where mediation usually leads.